Do you follow Quinn Cummings on twitter? If not, you should. Some may remember her as a child actor nominated for an Oscar for The Goodbye Girl but now she’s a writer – a good one. She writes threads on twitter she calls “small stories” and recently she posted one about about how there are two types of people: Stays and Gos.
The Stays do exactly that, they stay. Stays will “arrange to spend their lives within forty-five minutes of the house in which they grew up. If forced to leave for reasons beyond their control, they will spend their lives trying to get back.” That’s not a bad thing. The author herself is an undeniable Stay and happy with that. And then there are the Gos, the people who live their lives with wanderlust blueballs.
I was a Go even before I became an expat. I never tire of traveling and there are few places in the world I don’t have a desire to visit. I’ve been moving around, chasing various dreams, since college. If I spend too long in one place, I get itchy.
Exactly one year ago today, this Go moved to Paris. It’s been an amazing year, one I wouldn’t trade for anything. It’s something I absolutely needed to do, a dream that needed fulfilling. But I had always said that I was only committing to Paris for one year and as the end of this year approached, I was really struggling to understand where I belong. But I think I’ve figured it out.
I belong in Dublin.
That’s right, I’m moving back. There are a bunch of reasons, both professional and personal, as to why this makes this makes sense for me. None of the reasons are because I’ve fallen out of love with Paris. Quite the contrary. I love this city more than ever. It’s been such a privilege to live here. The thought of leaving my apartment, my neighborhood and of course, my friends, literally brings me to tears. But I have struggled to feel a sense of belonging this past year and this whole time it’s like Dublin has been tapping me on my shoulder, reminding me it’s still around, ready for me whenever I’m ready.
Well, I’m ready. And hard as it is going to be to leave Paris, the thought of returning to Dublin fills me with such joy and excitement.
So, for this Go, it’s time to go again. Who knows? Maybe once I’m back in Dublin I’ll turn into a Stay.
Yeah. Probably not.