Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? I do. I broke up with it briefly during that horrible “Gizzy” debacle, but then I relented and came back and it’s been my guilty pleasure ever since.
Grey’s is where the concept of having “your person” originated. This is someone, not a significant other or relative, whom you can go to for just about anything, whom you can show your worst side and not be judged, whom you know will have your back no matter what. To quote Cristina Yang, “If I murdered someone, she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the floor.” That is your person.
I moved to Dublin without a person. Heck, I moved to Dublin not knowing if I’d even make a single friend. But I did indeed make friends. Good friends. Great friends, even. But recently, the need for “a person” came up in my life and I wasn’t sure where to turn.
In a couple of weeks I need to have a surgery. It’s a minor procedure being done as an out-patient but because it will require general anesthesia I need to have someone take me home and stay the night. When living in Los Angeles, even though I lived alone, this would not have been an issue – I had many friends I knew I could call on to help me. In Buffalo, same thing, I have friends plus my parents and my sisters on whom I could rely.
But as an expat living in Dublin, who the heck am I supposed to get to drag my sorry, drugged-up arse home in a taxi and then spend the night? I am a fiercely independent person and needing to ask someone to help me out in this circumstance went against every fiber of my being.
Luckily, I didn’t have to. I called one of my friends and through the course of the conversation the procedure came up. I didn’t even need to ask – before I’d even finished she said that she would go with me and then stay the night at my place. Wow.
And as I thought about it further, in addition to this friend who came through without me even asking, I do believe that there are at least a couple other friends who, if I had asked, would have been willing to disrupt their day (and night!) to help me out.
Yes, I moved to Dublin without a person, without any friends, without anyone. But nearly two years later, it makes feel all warm and fuzzy that I have managed to make friends who are there for me if I need them. It makes this perpetually single, vehemently independent expat feel not quite so alone.
Now, I just need to figure out who should I call to help me with this dang corpse on my kitchen floor. 🙂