As of next week, I will no longer have the job that brought me to Dublin.
It wasn’t a surprise, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t experienced a whirlwind of emotions over the past few days. Am I disappointed and sad? Yes. Even a bit angry? Most definitely. Do I think they made the wrong decision? Of course I do! After all, we are talking about me. In what scenario would I think it was a good idea to get rid of me? Truth be told, I am excellent at what I do. My profession is one of the few areas of my life where I have a great deal of well-earned confidence. I feel that I brought a lot to the table and had a significant impact over the past year and a half at my workplace and I feel that when I am no longer there those things will be missed. So yes – disappointed, sad, angry and unappreciated. I’ve been feeling a lot of all that this week.
But I also feel grateful. Because, after all, this is the job that brought me to Dublin. That gave me the chance to fulfill one of my life’s dreams. They were willing to gamble on an unknown American – that’s means a lot to me and I will always, ALWAYS be thankful for the opportunity.
Last year I wrote a post about how I had to abandon my dream of being a writer in order to pursue my dream of being an expat (you can read about it here). Well, it turns out, not so much. Because, while I will no longer be doing my original producer job at my (now former) workplace, I have been asked to be a freelance writer for their latest project. And I am thrilled about this. It’s a sweet little show and I think I can do it justice as a writer, and I am happy to be involved in the project. So, that is a definite bright side.
I was talking to a friend about what went down this week and she asked me if I had taken a moment to pat myself on the back for realizing two dreams in less that two years – moving to Europe and becoming a professional writer. You know what? I hadn’t. But now that I think about it – damn, that is not bad! I thought that I had abandoned one dream in order to realize another, but it turns out, following one dream lead directly to the other.
I have no idea what the future holds (not that I really have since the moment I set foot in Dublin). So far, I am enjoying my new freelance life – in addition to the writing gig, I’ve got freelance creative gigs with another Dublin studio and a UK production company. But not having the security of a long-term gig is disconcerting, even when I am so busy with so many other projects.
But no matter what happens I have realized two dreams in less than two years. And that makes me one of the luckiest people I know.